Have you experienced moments where it seemed as if time stood still? Or something within just knew you were experiencing a profound moment? Recently, I had this experience after an extended family member passed away. While I won't depress or bore you with the details, I do want to share my experience after this person's passing and how it relates to my recent painting.
I don't know about you, but I wonder about odd things, such as just why it is so calm and peaceful in the moments immediately following someone's passing. The awe I felt for that atmosphere of peace and grace was so great, that I began to think and wonder about one mystery that I want to know; What was it like, when in a split second when that soul left the body? And, when it's my turn, what will I feel? Will it be beautiful? Confusing? Easy? Graceful? Will I be full of energy? Will I feel relief? Of course, I have not experienced it, so I can only imagine and that doesn't fully fill in the details.
This became a nice distraction to my grief. I was still enjoying that beautiful moment of profound peacefulness, calm, and even lightness, even as I had to directly face the dreaded business details of death. It's poetically strange, isn't it? And my fascination with this event lead me to paint this experience.
As I sat down at the canvas, I pushed aside my sadness, disappointment and anger at cancer. I tried to feel what it must have felt like in that exact moment in time when one's soul leaves it's body and begins it's lift off... I began to paint this experience. I didn't even mix my paint or decide on a color palette beforehand, I didn't know what color choices would fit such an event. Dark colors? Light? Dramatic or soft? I didn't know. It's not like you plan for such an event, right? Well, this painting wasn't planned either.
This is my interpretation of a soul leaving it's shell and beginning it's transformation process. I used mixed fibers to add texture to this painting. It represents the actual process of leaving "stuff" behind. I frequently use a process of layering paint and then remove a top layer or two to allow other layers of color to be exposed. In addition to the textures, there is an iridescent quality to the paint, as well, to give a sense of mystery.
"Morning Soul Lift"
22" (h) x 28" (w)
Acrylic, mixed media
Close Up View
Close up view of texture and colors
My hope is that you enjoyed the painting and ready about my experience. Feel free to comment on your experiences, it's easy on my blog.
2 comments:
Allison, I am so glad you painted that painting and gave us a glimpse of what you experienced. I have painted a painting after my friend died last April, and what I noticed after I painted it was an image in the woods created subconsciously. I also have a painting done by my teacher painted after a good friend of his died of Aids. His painting had a timeless quality like yours. I have found myself drifting off and gazing at it for long periods never tiring of it's spiritual quality. Yours has the same quality. I love it, you expressed the image of the soul leaving this world and all its attachments superbly. You write wonderful blogs Allison. Sorry about your loss. <3
Hi Janet,
I am sorry to hear of your loss and hope that you are coming to terms with it in your own way. I had a profound experience: http://goodgriefkiz.blogspot.com/
I was struck by the poem for days. It was a bit dazzling and disorientating now we (the poem and I) are separate entities but I'm glad it's out in the world!
I thought you might be interested in a website/blog I found which looks at creative therapeutic activity after loss.
I edit a free online paper called 'The Good Grief Express made up by an online community. It aims to act as a resource and a source of support/research for the bereaved, the sick and their families/friends.
Your post was included automatically as you tweeted using the hash tags 'grief'.
Your painting was beautiful and inspiring!
Blessings,
Kiz
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